Year-round, I tell my story about domestic violence. For many years, it was the only story I told. I’d get asked to speak and I’d share my story about the damaging two-year abusive relationship I experienced as a college student that left me broken and nearly destroyed my life.
However, despite my efforts to break the silence, I realized one day that I’d been leaving out a huge part of my story. My experience and exposure to unhealthy relationships had occurred so much earlier. I don’t know why I’d never thought to include what happened when I was 14 years old.
Maybe it’s because even in my 20s, I still hadn’t fully grasped what I’d gone through. Maybe I was just too scared to talk about it. Or maybe, like so many victims, I wondered if I was part to blame, because I didn’t do enough to try to stop it.
So when it did finally come out, I shocked even myself. I was speaking at a women’s event, asked to share my ‘journey’ and in some bizarre, out of mind, out of body moment, I just… said it. “I was raped at 14.” And then… I cried! On stage, right there, I cried, and then I apologized, telling the audience that it was the first time I’d ever said it publicly out loud.
Now, if I’ve learned anything, disclosures come in their due time, and healing is a process. Today, that story is embedded into every speech, and I’m damn proud to be strong enough to tell it. The power is finally mine.
Today, I am committing to writing that story publicly for the first time. I am committing to honesty, vulnerability, facing discomfort head on, and starting dialogue around the things that matter. I will shine a bright spotlight on the issues that impact us and those we love, and I will do everything I can to teach how we can begin to impact real and lasting change.
So get ready…. This blog will now be part of a series where I share my story with you. It is not just my story, but the story of millions of people at this very moment, each and every day. I hope you’ll follow along, connect, share, and learn along the way.
New entries will come out every MONDAY. Follow the blog, follow me on social media, and stay tuned.
About: Ashley Bendiksen is a top youth motivational speaker and prevention educator. A survivor speaker and renowned expert in teen dating violence, domestic violence, and sexual assault prevention, Ashley is available as a speaker for middle schools, high schools, colleges, and youth conferences for both students and adults who serve them. She is also a professional development speaker for first responders, victim services providers, and workplaces. Request Ashley to speak.